Somnium Visum
by PsychoWing
Summary: Another mission, another near-death experience. It all seems routine - until what should be a fatal wound changes things. With all the confusion, and the resulting coma, Alex can't help but feel like he's fallen down the rabbit hole. And he isn't sure he wants to climb back out.
1. Prologue

I know I need to work on my other things, but I'm certain quite a few of you know what it's like to have plot bunnies hopping around. This one I couldn't ignore. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider or any of the official characters. Nor do I own claim to the names of K-unit. I am borrowing amitai's names for Wolf, Snake, and Eagle. However, I do own the plot.

* * *

Another explosion shook the area and, unheard in the resulting cacophony, a soft whimper escaped the small girl pressed against the blond's side. Brown eyes glanced down at the eight year old before refocusing on the door just visible over their refuge.

After another tense minute, Alex turned to the girl, setting aside his stolen pistol. As he pulled off the vest he had stolen from the same man as the gun – what use would a dead man have for Kevlar? – he spoke.

"Sherry, I need you to promise me something, okay?" He paused for her answer, smiling when she nodded, and began to fasten the vest around her small form. "I want you to keep this on. No matter what, you have to run away if I tell you or if anything happens, okay?"

A second nod, this one a little hesitant, was the answer.

"There are men coming to help us. They're in the British SAS. There will be a man–" they both flinched at a nearby explosion. Alex glanced at the door then looked at the girl again. "His name is Ben Daniels. You'll have to take him to the discs if you can't take me."

Sherry sniffled. "I'm scared."

Alex smiled weakly, lifting the gun again. "Me too," he whispered, pushing her deeper behind cover before darting across the warehouse to hide in the shadowed area under the only flight of stairs inside.

The door flew open only seconds after Alex had faded back and several men piled in. Though they had no visible means by which to identify faction, their military training was obvious to the teen. He smiled faintly when his though was confirmed by a curt order delivered in the same code he had learned during his brief stint as a part of K-unit.

"What are the chances that the Agent has been terminated?" one of the soldiers (_Obviously a new recruit_ Alex thought) muttered. He recoiled in surprise when of the others rounded on him, not having expected to be overheard.

"I don't give a damn if the mission has gone to hell. It is still covert and as such, you will keep your mouth shut," a familiar voice hissed. "Is that understood?"

"Yes sir."

Alex blinked, not at the realization that Wolf was heading the group, but because of the relief he felt. There was a soft scuff when he started to step out, but it was enough to have seven assault rifles swing his way.

Alex hit the ground – even as Wolf bit out a "Hold fire!" – and he slid the stolen pistol toward the men before they could order him to - _Or they decide to open fire on me for being armed_ Alex thought dryly.

He complied immediately when ordered to place his hands behind his head. Alex mentally cursed at himself as he tried to remember the code phrase for an ally. His thoughts were tossed out the window by a lance of pain when he was pulled to his feet, wrenching an already dislocated shoulder.

Alex smiled weakly at the soldiers when he felt the grip shift from restraining him to holding him up. "Sorry. I couldn't remember the damn code phrase."

"Are you injured?" one asked, removing his night vision goggles to reveal Snake, K-unit's medic.

Alex waved him off with a muttered 'fine', slipping passed them to get Sherry. He had taken only a couple steps when the sound of shattering glass echoed through the room.

Wolf's order to get Alex out of there was ignored by said blond as he sprinted across the building.

"Sherry!" from a single teen drowned out the various chorused cries directed at the young spy.

The warehouse degenerated into a battlefield before Alex had made it three-quarters of the way to where he had left the girl.

_Please don't let anything have happened to her_ was the only thought he was aware of, blocking everything to an extent where he barely even felt the bullet that pierced his left calf.

"Sherry!" This time his cry was rewarded with a soft sob from where Alex had left her. He held her close after the girl scrambled out and threw herself at him.

Their run back to the British soldiers registered only in flashes. Alex couldn't remember what happened at the end of their run either; just the looks of horror on Snake's and Ben's faces (_When did he get here?_ was a clear, if idle, thought), a gunshot that echoed in silence, and a sharp pain in the middle of his back.

The next Alex was aware of was the entirety of K-unit ranged above and around him, worry ill hidden in their eyes.

"–sure if he's aware or not," Snake was saying.

"But his eyes are open," Eagle protested, voice flat.

_That's odd_ drifted across Alex's mind, gone as quickly as it had come. _Eagle never sounds like that_.

"You know as well as the rest of us that it doesn't mean anything," Wolf pointed out, voice lacking the sarcasm it normally would have held.

Ben moved closer, his frown easing slightly when the teen focused on him. "Alex, where are the discs? Medical help is on the way, but I need to know now."

Alex tried to nod and tell him, but found he didn't have the strength. The most he could do was allow his head to fall to the side so he could look as Sherry.

"Cub?!" met his ears, a little higher from the concern obvious in their voices.

Having the world suddenly shift and tilt was disconcerting, but Alex wasn't sure if it was more so than the fact that Wolf was the one to lift him and turn his head to look at him or not.

"Cub, the discs."

Brown eyes shifted in Sherry's direction before focusing on Ben again.

Realization crossed Ben's face and he nodded. "Alright Cub. Now just hang on."

Eagle laughed weakly. "Yeah. We all need to go out for drinks. Can't do that without the whole team."

If there was a response, Alex didn't hear it. His hearing had faded and his vision gone gray. His world had vanished, everything was gone, except the feeling he had from being surrounded by his old team.

Alex didn't care if he was dying because, for once in too long a time, he felt safe.


	2. Transition

Yeah, it's short, sorry, but I'm trying to keep chapters in reserve and the one I just finished was pretty long.

* * *

Darkness. It wasn't as absolute as most people believe. It can be chased away by light, after all, and morphed into shadows.

_Of course, I'm not fully certain that this is darkness_ Alex mused, looking down at his hand. Rather than the healthy flesh color it should have been, it was gray. This wasn't a result of being dead because everything was gray: his hair, his clothes, his blood… Then again, the blood was vanishing into the void and his pain was fading.

_Huh. Maybe I am dead. Pretty boring if I am._

Alex looked around again, letting his hand drop. There was nothing. No people, no sound, nothing to touch. He felt like he was floating in water, but there was no weight to it, no wetness, there wasn't even the vague pull of a current. Actually, it reminded him of zero gravity.

Hearing what he thought was a soft cry of fear and pain, he turned as best as he could. He was able to bite back his own cry, but couldn't stop the gasp.

It was like looking in a mirror, if he focused only on the face, and seeing the wide brown eyes set in such a pale face unsettled him. Looking passed that though, what he saw was a thin boy, with less muscle than he had, draped in a uniform remarkably like the fatigues he had worn at Brecon Beacons, but these were decidedly better fitting. There were even dog tags hanging around his neck. From what he could see, they read as "Cub 489-32-7961 AB."

Alex met the eyes of his double. He had glimpsed horror and pity when sharp needles of pain stabbed into the backs of his eyes. Doubling over, he cried out in pain. It echoed in the darkness, but did nothing to cover the sound of breaking glass.

He felt a jolt in the pit of his stomach and then…

He fell.


	3. Waking

Why is it that waking can be as simple as opening your eyes and at other times, it's harder than swimming through concrete?

Alex groaned softly, struggling to wake. He cursed weakly once he managed to open his eyes and they were immediately assaulted by a bright light.

Were it not for the arm around his shoulders stopping him from turning away, he would have thought he was in a hospital. Rather than try opening his eyes a second time, Alex chose to use his other senses to figure out where he was.

He was able to smell fresh air, the faint scent of decaying plants, and several things he could make neither heads nor tails of.

He felt hard-packed dirt under his legs, a single, muscular arm holding his torso up, and the heartbeat of someone larger than he against his cheek.

Hearing wasn't difficult either. It was making sense of the voices around him that was proving to be a bit of work. As the pounding in his head eased, he found it easier to focus.

"I'm telling you his eyes opened. He's coming around."

"What happened?"

The real question is: How long have I been out? …This doesn't make any sense. I was shot. Why is someone holding me? Why am I outside? …Did Sherry get out alright?

Alex took a deep breath… and opened his eyes.


	4. Suspicion

Imagine, if you will, that you have been repeatedly ridiculed and insulted by someone, even if it has been some time since you've last seen said person. What would your reaction be to waking up, disoriented, in their arms? Even more, what would you think if he or she were looking down at you with obvious worry and relief? Would you be likely to yell? To stare at them? To attempt to ascertain the situation? To hit them?

…Okay. Alex may have over-reacted a bit. Well, more than a bit, but… How would you react to having someone six inches from your face upon waking when the last you remembered was being shot?

The point of the matter is Alex was not expecting this (disregarding that you don't expect anything when you think you're dead).

On the other hand, Eagle wasn't expecting the blond teen he was holding up to suddenly punch him in the jaw.

It was through that combination that Alex found himself flat on his back, staring up at a blue sky with a few clouds. He didn't get to enjoy the view for very long before someone else was leaning over him.

"Well, that was certainly a first," Snake murmured, extending a hand to Alex. "How do you feel Cub?"

Alex blinked at him before accepting the Scot's hand. He shook his head slightly once he was upright then he responded. "Surprisingly well, all things considered." That he felt out of his depth was unsaid. He held still for the anticipated check-over but all Snake did was place a hand on the smaller blond's shoulder.

"No ill effects," was Snake's report to Wolf. He lowered his hand again, missing the confused glance Alex gave him, breaking from looking around.

"So what was it?" Fox asked, slipping his hands into his pockets.

Alex turned to him. "What was what?" Regardless of what he may have been expecting, having four highly trained soldiers focus solely on him wasn't it (in fact, it was a little unsettling). The looks of mingled concern and confusion were even less predictable.

"Your vision," Fox clarified.

Alex blinked. "Vision?"

"Yeah," Eagle replied, dropping his hand from his jaw. "You collapsed, remember? …Actually, you probably don't since you were out before you even fell." He shrugged. "So what'd you see?"

Alex just looked at him blankly before shrugging himself. "It was dark. I didn't see anything other than me," he responded warily, going with the truth, even if it was some odd dream.

Wolf frowned. "Regardless, I want you to go lay down."

Alex turned incredulous eyes on the team leader. "What?" he questioned, voice slightly higher from confusion and a little indignation.

Eagle snickered. "Why are you surprised? You know he does this every time."

"Every time? Did I miss a memo or something? What are you on about?" the teen demanded, frowning at each of them.

It was because of this that Alex saw clearly the looks the men exchanged: part-concern and part-wary.

"Okay Cub. Time to go lay down," Fox said, reaching for Alex's arm. He blinked when the teen stepped back and started glaring at the soldiers.

"Don't. Touch me," he fairly growled. "I don't know who the fuck you are and I really don't much care. I'm going to walk away now and you're going to leave me alone."

"Not funny Cub," Eagle stated, serious for the time being.

Alex focused on him. "Stop calling me that. You've no right to it."

"Hang on C–" At the dark look from the teen, Fox chose to cut himself off. "Do you really not recognize us?"

Alex snorted, lips twisting wryly. He was tempted to cross his arms, but considering the unknown situation, he didn't want to risk having his hands unavailable. "Nice try. While I will commend you for looking like them, your ruse fails simply for not acting like them."

Wolf glanced at Snake. "Amnesia?"

"It's possible."

Alex scowled at them, unable to get past the circle of men surrounding him. He inhaled sharply when a hand settled on his shoulder – the imposter Fox's if he remembered correctly. Scant seconds after, Alex had grabbed the wrist, thrust his other elbow into the man's gut, and twisted his upper body as he lowered himself into a crouch. A thud and pained 'oof!' of expelled breath was the result.

He hardly paid any thought to the three gaping men while he spun on a heel and sprinted away. It was only through peripheral awareness that he noticed all of the other soldiers scattered around the… base? he was located.

Alex hadn't made it far when a distinctly larger body slammed into him, forcing him to the ground. He growled softly rather than yell and tried to twist around to hit his captor.

Wolf. Figures.

Even with as hard as he fought, Wolf stayed surprisingly gentle in restraining him. He twisted the teen's arms back as he stood, pulling the blond up at the same time.

Snake approached, dodging a kick from the near-fifteen-year-old, and caught his chin in a firm, but not harsh, grip.

Alex snarled obscenities at the men, trailing off as his eyes met the Scot's. His movements slowed then ceased.

_Why can't I do anything? What is he doing to me? Why aren't I reacting?_

Alex just stared into gray eyes that seemed to swirl into quicksilver, drawing away his strength to fight and the panic he felt. His legs gave out and he hung limp in Wolf's arms.

"It's alright Cub," Snake murmured, voice low and hypnotic. "You're going to sleep now. When you wake up, everything will be fine"

Alex blinked slowly, body feeling heavy. Even as the world faded, he couldn't look away from Snake's calm eyes.

"Good night Cub."


	5. Surprise

To Kill A Mockingjay is organizing what will hopefully become the annual Alex Rider Fanfiction Awards. Check it out here: forum. fanfiction .net/forum/The_Royal_General_Bank/93073/ .

* * *

When Alex woke again, he fully expected to be restrained in some way, be it locked in a cell or tied to something. He definitely didn't expect what he got.

Alex found himself in a bed, not overly large and ornate nor a cot that may as well have been made of stone, but it was comfortable. And warm.

He was rather surprised to find that this bed felt like it was his though it certainly wasn't. This wasn't his home so why did he feel as if it were?

Alex cautiously sat up, studying the small room he was in. It was spare with only the bed he was in, a small chest of drawers, and a few personal touches. What few there were though, gave the impression that a teenage boy lived within.

He had swung his feet over the side of the bed and started to push himself up when a glint of light off glass caught his eye. Turning, he saw that it was a photograph, framed and hung on the wall.

The photo was of a happy scene, but Alex felt himself go cold when he saw it, and he wasn't fully certain why.

In the picture he saw K-unit out on a sunny day and it had to have been a free day since he could see they were relaxing and goofing off. Snake was sitting under a tree, his nose in a book. A few feet away, Wolf was stood, watching over the other four. Eagle and Fox looked to be playing tag with, and this was where Alex's numbness stemmed from, they were playing tag with him.

Alex realized why he had gone cold. What he wasn't sure of was what else he was feeling. He hadn't met any of K-unit, didn't know they existed, until he was fourteen. So, why was he in this photo at the age of… twelve? eleven?

Alex shivered, slowly backing away. _Who would go through this much trouble just to get to me?_

He turned and hurried out the door, pausing when he found himself in a small house. He glanced around and saw another four doors, presumably to more rooms of similar size to the one he just exited, and a flight of stairs opposite the single window in the hall. As he moved toward the stairs, he noted that 'his' room was on the side with three, in the middle, and opposite one of the other rooms.

Alex carefully edged down the stairs, ears straining for any sound. He was able to hear muffled conversation that drifted through the lower floor, but couldn't quite understand it.

As soon as his foot touched floor at the bottom, Eagle poked his head into the room.

"Hey Cub," he said, lips pulling back into a warm smile. "Feeling better?"

Alex stood there, staring at him blankly. He was unsure if he should run, following his mind, or if he should join the man, as his heart so wanted him to do.

Eagle frowned slightly, stepping fully into the room and moving toward Alex. "Cub? What's wrong?"

Alex's eyes focused on the larger man even as he began to edge along the wall. He ignored the hurt look that flashed through the soldier's hazel eyes when he put the couch between them.

"I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not telling you anything."

Eagle's frown deepened. "What are you talking about? I don't… None of us want anything from you. We just want to know that you're okay."

Alex huffed out a disbelieving laugh. "Yeah, alright, I'm fine, okay? I'm going now." He continued edging toward the door he could see led outside.

A new voice joined the conversation, sounding irritated. "You sure as hell aren't acting like it."

Alex darted a look to the side and saw who he expected: Wolf. "And you'd know this how? You've somehow managed to figure out how I normally am in the, roughly, two weeks we've been remotely near each other?"

It was Wolf's turn to frown. "Cub," he started slowly. "What do you mean 'two weeks'? You've been here for three years."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, nice try. I don't know how you made that photo, or any of this other crap that's going on, but I think I'd remember living with you sodding bastards!"

Both men blinked, as did the other two who had appeared in the doorway behind Eagle.

"Snake," Wolf growled, turning to glower at the Scot.

The blond stepped into the room, looking mildly perplexed. "Physically, he's fine. Yes, this is Cub, and no, there's nothing on him."

"Then what is going on?" Wolf demanded.

Snake shrugged. "I don't know. I… I guess it might be possible he witnessed some sort of traumatic event and… repressed. I don't know. I specialize in the body, not the mind."

"So you don't know anything?" Fox asked, leaning against the door jamb but not removing his gaze from Alex.

"I'm not an expert. And who knows if Cub, being who and what he is, would conform to the standard," Snake answered.

Alex scowled, stepping forward. "Stop talking about me like I'm not here!" he snapped, drawing the unit's attention. He focused on Snake. "And what do you mean 'what I am'?" His scowl grew more severe when he saw the concerned looks the soldiers exchanged.

Snake stepped closer, slowly, with his hands held out. "Cub–"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Alright. But I need to know, what's the last thing you remember?" Snake asked, tone gentle.

_He's treating me like I'm a skittish animal,_ Alex realized. He rolled his eyes before he answered, his voice an interesting mix of sarcasm and blandness. "Oh, gee, I don't know. What was it? Oh yeah, being shot."

Alex blinked when the men exploded into sound.

"When is it going to happen?"

"Who shoots you?"

"Were we there?"

"Where was it?"

Alex stared at them. "…What? It already happened; a random terrorist; yes… a warehouse?"

Snake sighed. "No. Where did the bullet pierce?"

"Lower back. Why do you care?"

"Why? What do you mean 'why'? Because I'm your primary healer, we're a team, and we're responsible for you."

"Hang on," Fox said, holding up a hand. His eyes met Alex's. "What do you mean that it already happened? You've never been shot."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I've been shot twice and you'd know that if you really were B– Fox."

Snake stepped forward again, halting when Alex backed away, bumping into the wall in his haste. "Cub, you've never been shot. Gunshot wounds always leave scars and you don't have any. Look for yourself if you don't believe me."

Alex narrowed his eyes, gauging the man's honesty before he carefully pulled his shirt off. He looked down at his chest and froze when his gaze was met with unmarred skin. His hearing went dull with shock and he was unable to focus on anything other than the lack of scar. He carefully probed the smooth skin over his heart, not even noticing the suspicious frown that crossed Wolf's face. He dimly noticed the lack of muscle and additional scars, including one he had gotten at twelve when he and Tom fell out of a tree. _H-how is this possible? I… I know I was shot. I remember all of those missions; Jack, Ian, Tom… There's no way I imagined all that. What is going on?_

Alex was jarred back into the insane reality he had stumbled into by a gentle shake. He felt warm hands on his arms and, when he looked up, saw that they belonged to Snake. The other three were ranged behind the medic, looking down at the teen. It was about then that Alex realized he was sitting on the floor.

Another gentle shake drew his wandering attention.

"Cub, I need you to answer me," Snake said, voice low with concern and urgency.

Alex blinked. "I'm fine."

Eagle laughed, lips pulling back into a smirk though his eyes were still worried. "That doesn't really answer the question."

Alex looked at him in slight confusion. "Which question?" he asked, still dazed from his discovery, something that concerned the men.

"What did you See that made you believe you had been shot?" Snake repeated patiently.

Alex scowled, hearing the capital 's' this time but disregarding it for now. "I didn't 'see' anything! I lived through it!" He felt himself begin to panic, but couldn't find it in himself to completely suppress it. He was just so tired of needing to hold that iron control being a spy forced him to have that the rope keeping him together was fraying and he just didn't care. Not anymore.

"I don't know what you want from me or why you're doing this, but stop it! Just fucking stop! They don't care! You don't care! No one does! Just leave me alone!" Alex yelled, beginning to struggle against the gentle hands lightly restraining him.

"Cub! Stop! You need to–"

Alex freed a hand and cut Snake off with a fist to the jaw. He kicked out and knocked the larger blond over before scrambling to his feet and dashing for the door. He hurdled over the couch rather than go around – a move that seemed to mildly surprise a couple of the men – and ducked under Fox's outstretched arm, grabbing it to throw him a second time. The brunet crashed into Wolf, sending them both to the ground, as Alex disappeared out the door with Eagle just behind him.

Alex ignored the yell of "Cub!" behind him in favor of pushing between a few soldiers. He heard but didn't register Eagle's call for someone to grab him, so when thick arms wrapped around him, he acted on instinct, trying to wrench around while letting his entire body weight fall.

Unfortunately, it didn't work, though the man holding him did blink in surprise. He looked from Alex to Eagle as the man slid to a stop next to him.

"Eagle, what–" He absently caught Alex's hands and held them still with one massive hand, his other arm still wrapped around Alex's waist. "Stop that Cub."

Eagle ran a hand through his hair, looking at Alex with… displeasure? Concern? He sighed and looked at the other soldier. "Thanks Bear. He Saw something and isn't himself. Could you get the word spread, in case anything happens?"

Bear shrugged. "Sure. Want me to carry him back or do you want to do it yourself?"

"I'll do it. Thanks again," he responded, reaching forward to gently grasp Alex's wrists. Like Bear, he held them in one hand and snaked his other arm around Alex's waist. "I've got him."

Bear nodded before carefully letting go. He walked away when he saw Eagle had Alex held tightly.

Alex, on the other hand, was getting annoyed that they were able to so easily ignore his struggles. Why was he suddenly so weak? He turned his head to glare at Bear's retreating form and was able to see that his head was shaved bald and he was built like a tree. He turned back to glare at Eagle, who was already leading Alex back to their house, hidden amongst others he hadn't seen while running. Mentally, he cursed at himself for losing awareness of his surroundings like that.

"Christ, Cub. When the hell did you learn that?" Eagle half-demanded, carrying him into the house as if he were a small five-year-old rather than the five foot seven near fifteen-year-old he was… Or was supposed to be anyway. He wasn't so sure anymore since he apparently hadn't been shot. He decided that he needed to find a mirror.

"Learn what?" Alex snapped, glaring at the other three men who looked mildly amused in addition to the concern from earlier.

"Proper throws and punches. Last week you still fell over more times than not," Fox answered as Eagle set Alex down.

Alex shot them a scathing look. "You people didn't do your research well. I've been in karate since I was six."

The men all blinked and looked at each other.

"Snake?" three of them chorused, looking at the blond.

"I don't know. Why do you expect me to know?"

"You're the mage and the medic. You'd know before we would," Eagle said with the tone of one stating the obvious.

Alex blinked then let out disbelieving laugh. When the men looked at him, he shrugged. "I got shot and all of you went insane. Why else would you be mothering me? …Or care enough to, for that matter?"

There was a beat before Eagle looked at the other three. "I didn't know we were insane."

Wolf glowered and hit Eagle upside the head as Fox answered Alex. "We've been taking care of you for the past three-ish years. Bit hard not to care."

Alex glared at him, grabbing his shirt to pull on. "I haven't even known you a year much less three. Stop bullshitting me."

Snake moved into Alex's line of sight. "Cub… Alex. It's possible everyone is telling the truth. Let me explain first, before you try running off again. Will you listen?"

Alex hesitated then nodded, filing away the use of his real name for later. "Listening and believing are two different things."

"Good enough," Snake responded, gesturing Alex to the couch.

Rather than cooperate, and turn his back to them, Alex flopped onto one of the two armchairs. He scowled at the indulgent smiles he saw exchanged. The men settled themselves and Alex looked at the older blond.

Snake met Alex's eyes and the teen looked away, remembering what had happened last time. The Scot sighed then began to speak. "Three years ago, we were told that our unit would be receiving a fifth member. When we saw you… well, you can imagine that we weren't pleased."

Alex nodded, thinking back to his own reception. It wasn't hard to think of how they would react to an even younger addition.

"All we were told was to make sure you didn't die or anything," Eagle tossed in. "Which probably wasn't the best directions to give a group of guys who had never been all that to close to a kid."

"And you weren't exactly… normal, when we first met," Fox added. At Alex's questioning look, he elaborated. "You were staring at the clouds, mumbling about something. Sarge had to actually walk you over."

"Anyway," Snake cut in, frowning at the two. "Since we didn't know what to do with a child, much less one we thought was insane, we ignored you most of the time."

"And yelled back when you started up," Eagle said equably. "…Which usually sent you running to hide under a bed."

"That was routine for the next couple of months. Until you collapsed in front of us and had a seizure," Snake continued.

"Scared the shit out of all of us," Fox commented. " 'Course, it also made us realize that we had grown attached to you and that, human or not, you were still a child and we weren't doing a very good job as caretakers."

Alex frowned. "Wait. What do you mean 'human or not'? What else would I be? A cat?" he demanded sarcastically.

They stared at him blankly before Wolf ventured an answer. "As opposed to werewolf, vampire, demon, mage, or anything else."

Alex stared at them in return then started laughing. "Funny. Pull the other leg why don't you?"

The men exchanged worried looks.

"Well," Snake began. "This does lend support to my theory."

"What theory?" Wolf asked, glancing at Alex in concern.

Snake paused to order his thoughts before he spoke. "This Cub has lived an entirely different life from ours. Whe–"

"This Cub? So he's different?" Fox asked, worry in his voice.

Snake nodded. "Mentally, at the very least. Physically, he's still our Cub."

"So what does that mean?" Eagle asked, looking at Alex who was watching the byplay with interest.

"That we're going to have to adjust, be patient. Cub, Alex, he'll need us to help him." Snake looked at Alex. "Which do you want us to call you?"

Alex blinked, surprised at being asked his opinion since he was used to being told how things would be. "Cub," he answered after a beat of silence.

"Exactly how is Cub different?" Wolf asked.

"We can't know for certain until he decides to share," Snake responded with a nod to Alex. "But regardless of whether he's a counterpart with different memories or a subconsciously created persona, he's real." He again looked at Alex, who was growing annoyed. "And sorry for speaking like you weren't here. Would you like us to finish explaining now or would you like something to eat?"

Alex blinked again, choosing to study Snake rather than answer. _Different? Then I guess the other… me I saw is, or was, the Cub that belongs here._

"Cub?" broke into his thoughts.

"Either is fine," Alex said absently, still thinking.

Eagle stood to stretch. "Well, I'm hungry. Why not move into the kitchen?"

Alex smirked. "So long as Wolf doesn't cook…"

"Why wouldn't I cook?" Wolf demanded, shooting a look at the teen.

Alex looked at him then at the others. "Don't tell me you actually let him cook here. Even Eagle won't eat his cooking. Ten days may not be long but it's more than enough to not want to experience it again."

Eagle laughed. "At least that's something that's the same."

"Two things," Fox said, elaborating when he saw the question on Eagle's face. "You eating everything and Wolf not cooking."

"He never said I ate everything."

"No, you eat everything," Alex said. He trailed after the soldiers into the kitchen, wary but willing to go along with it.

"So Cub, why the sudden change?" Wolf asked.

Alex shrugged. "I figure that this is way too much effort into a story I'd see as insane and full of it and since you haven't tried to kill me yet…" He shrugged again and sat at the table. When he looked up, he saw the men were frowning at him. "What?"

"How can you sound so blasé about someone trying to kill you?" Fox asked.

Alex looked between them. "It's typical? Bes–"

"What?" was chorused from the soldiers, varying levels of anger upon their faces.

Alex shrugged. "What? I'm used to it by now. Can we talk about something else?"

"No," Wolf growled. "How many people have tried to kill you?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Wolf demanded.

"It's not like I stopped to count," Alex snapped back, starting to push to his feet.

Eagle pushed him back into the chair, all thoughts of food gone. "Why were they trying to kill you?"

Alex sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I got in the way or tried to stop them. Both usually. Why are you so surprised? You already know this."

"Know this? How the hell could we possibly know this?" Fox demanded.

Alex scowled and retorted sharply, "Because you and Wolf have been there at least twice each and you all were there the last time – when I was actually shot again."

"You were shot in front of different versions of us? Why didn't we do anything?" Eagle asked.

Alex shrugged. "For all I know, you did. I blacked out. When I came to, it was quiet and you were all there looking at me. I don't know exactly what the hell was going on since I was a little busy dying at the time," he snapped back sarcastically.

Snake, seeing that the teen was growing defensive, annoyed, and oddly, confused, cut in before anymore questions could be asked of Alex, "Why don't we eat and finish telling Cub what is going on?"

Wolf growled and shot a look at Alex. "We will finish this later," he ground out before stalking out of the kitchen.

Alex looked at the others. "What else crawled up his ass?"

Eagle looked at the teen like he was insane. "Did– Am I– Wha– I can't deal with this right now," he said, once he finished sputtering, and followed his team leader.

Alex looked at the other two, confused. "What'd I do?"

Fox and Snake exchanged looks.

"Well," Fox started. "You don't seem to care that people have tried to kill you."

"I care! …At the time anyway. It just doesn't matter anymore. And definitely not now."

"You don't act like it," Fox countered.

Alex scowled. "There isn't much point in worrying about something I can't do anything about."

"You act like you don't care at all," argued Fox.

Alex's back straightened. "Well, I'm not going to be very open with people I don't trust, am I?" He looked at Snake. "I'm not very hungry."

"Okay," the blond nodded. "Why don't you go rest? The room you woke up in is yours."

Alex nodded curtly before turning and staking up the stairs.

"That could have gone better," Snake sighed, leading Fox onto the porch.

"What the hell is going on?" Wolf demanded.

Snake sat on the railing. "Like I said, Cub is different. Because of that, we'd be best off treating him as an equal and an adult, rather than the boy we've basically raised the past few years."

Wolf growled. "But he's our cub."

Snake nodded. "Yes. We know that, but he doesn't."

"How can he not?" Eagle asked.

"Weren't you paying attention?" Snake asked scathingly. "This boy, this Alex, this Cub, barely knows us. And what he does know of us is vastly different from what we are… I wouldn't be surprised if he thought we all were human."

Snake rolled his eyes at the blank looks he received. "I know we're all worried and tired, but come on guys. Haven't you figured anything out?"

"Nope," Eagle chirped with a smirk. "We leave the thinking to you, book boy."

Snake glowered at him. "Demon or no, I can still turn you into a frog."

Wolf shot a glare at Eagle. "What'd you mean, Snake?"

"Judging by what he's said and his reactions, I'd assume that the world he's from," he held up a hand when Wolf went to interrupt. "Or fashioned for himself, has no form of the supernatural. No widely accepted form at any rate. Remember his reaction when you referred to his being a Seer? He acted like being anything but human wasn't possible."

"But I still don't understand how this… switch could've happened," Fox said.

Snake let himself lean back slightly. "Since he claims remembering being shot, that trauma could have drawn his spirit into a nether-realm and having a vision at the same time could possibly be enough to allow them to exchange places."

"So, not only do we have a different Cub, but we have no idea what he Saw?" Fox asked.

"…Basically."

"Alright, assuming I understood you correctly, how do we get the old Cub back?" Wolf asked.

Snake sighed. "…I don't know. It may not be possible."

Eagle held up a hand. "Hang on. First: clarify 'nether-realm'. Second: what do you mean that we might not get him back?"

"Don't you pay attention at all?" Fox demanded, smacking Eagle's arm. "Nether-realms are the dimensions between, like Limbo."

Eagle glared at Fox. "I knew that. I just wanted to make sure."

Wolf growled at the pair, shutting them up, then looked at Snake. "He has a point with the second question."

"Well, logically, an event similar to what precipitated the original transfer could reverse it. However, if the body of this Cub expired, then our Cub would have faded with it. And, even if we could affect a transfer, there's no guarantee that they'd be returned to their original states. Add to that that this may be purely psychological and… well, we'd be best to just let things play out. With any luck, they'll switch back on their own."

Three blank stares were all he got in response until Eagle spoke. "We know he's worried since we need to find a thesaurus."

Snake shot Eagle a sour look. "Regardless, we'll just need to cope. And if this is going to be hard on us, it will be harder on Cub."

Wolf pushed off the post he was leaning against. "We'll take it as it comes. I'll go tell Sarge what's going on. You guys… do something. Keep an eye on Cub." He walked off, stomping rather audibly.

Fox sighed then summed up their thoughts nicely. "This is not going to go well."


	6. Nightmares

To Kill A Mockingjay and I are organizing what will hopefully become the annual Alex Rider Fanfiction Awards. Check it out here: forum. fanfiction .net/forum/The_Royal_General_Bank/93073/ .

Special mentions to Mazken, speechbubble, and zeichnerinaga (you all know why =P ).

* * *

Alex woke in the middle of the night, choking back a scream. He ran a shaky hand over his face, wiping away the cold sweat that had beaded over his brow, and sat up, swinging his feet over the side of the bed.

He let his eyes roam around the dark room before pushing to his feet and moving into the hall. Hearing soft snores from across the hall, he smiled slightly, knowing that it was Snake by the soft whistle at the end of his exhale, before he frowned again. He doubted anyone would go through the trouble of recording how someone sounded while they slept, much less two people he amended upon hearing Eagle muttering from the room to his left, next to the window.

_So that means I'm hallucinating, I'm insane, or this is somehow really happening... And I'm really not sure which right now,_ he thought as he quietly went down the stairs and into the kitchen. He got a glass of water then sat at the table, small as it was, shoved against the wall so no more than three people could sit at it at one time.

Alex had a sudden, vivid image of the kitchen filled with sunlight. Sitting across from him was Fox and between them was Snake, Wolf was leaning against the counter next to the back door and Eagle was sitting on the counter near the sink. The men were talking and laughing, but Alex couldn't hear any of it.

He blinked, hand jerking, the image fading as suddenly as it had come, and his vision plunged into darkness. There was the clattered of the glass tipping over and spilling its contents.

Alex jumped to his feet to avoid the water, barely catching the glass from rolling off the table in the process. He cussed softly, setting the glass in the sink before grabbing a towel to soak up the water.

"You should be in bed," startled Alex into spinning, dropping into a defensive crouch at the same time.

Wolf raised an eyebrow at the teen then flipped the lights on. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he answered, straightening. He tossed the towel into the sink. "Sorry if I woke you," he muttered after a pause.

Wolf grunted, getting his own water. "Was outside." He turned to Alex. "Why are you up?"

The blond shrugged a shoulder. "Couldn't sleep."

Wolf paused and lowered his arm again. "Why not?" he asked.

Alex shrugged again.

"Cub..."

"What? What do you want me to say? It's not like it's your business." He scowled. "And what does it matter anyway?"

"You need to keep up your strength."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm not a kid. I'll be fine."

It was Wolf's turn to scowl. He thudded his glass on the counter and strode over to glare down at the teen, an interesting effort since he was only a couple inches taller. "Mentally our Cub or not, that's still his body, not yours, and I know more about it than you do. You need to be careful. He's not very physical, not very forward, and you need to stay calm. There's costs to the ability he has. His is a weak body. If you keep getting worked up like you have been, you could cause some damage. Stop being so fucking stubborn and listen to us, let us help you, take care of you. We aren't going to hurt you, not intentionally."

Alex blinked, backing down. "Sorry," he muttered, looking away. He was feeling strangely distressed, but he had no idea why.

An odd tightness began to grow in his chest; it was a new sensation but somehow familiar - different from when his bullet wound bothered him though, he knew that much. He realized dimly that he had felt it yesterday when discovering his lack of scars, but it had been overridden by shock. He frowned, putting a hand to his chest.

"Cub?"

Alex shook his head, pushing past Wolf to go outside, thinking the fresher air would help.

Wolf caught his arm. "What's wrong?"

Alex just shook his head again, trying to twist free.

The soldier tightened his grip slightly, tugging Alex back against his chest. He wrapped his free arm around Alex's shoulders, keeping him from bending over as he was trying to do.

"It's okay Cub," he said, voice soothing. "It'll pass. Just focus on my breathing. In long and slow and out the same way."

Wolf kept talking softly in between breaths for Alex to focus on. The teen's knees buckled and Wolf eased him to the floor and knelt behind him, keeping Alex firmly against his chest.

When Alex's breathing began to ease, he squirmed slightly, embarrassed. He was pulling away before Wolf had fully released him.

"You okay?" the man asked. At Alex's nod, he posed another question. "What upset you?" He rolled his eyes when he saw the confused look the blond shot him, not knowing that Alex was wondering why he cared to ask rather than how he had known. "This isn't the first time you, or rather, your body, has hyperventilated."

Alex shrugged, leaning against the wall rather than try and stand just yet. His lips quirked into a weak smile when Wolf handed him his glass of water.

"I take it you have everything handled?" came Snake's voice from the doorway.

"Yeah," Wolf answered, not taking his eyes off Alex. He nudged the glass when Alex hadn't taken a drink.

"Cub? How do you feel?"

Alex looked at the older blond. "...Tired."

Snake nodded. "That's expected... What caused the attack?"

Alex shrugged again. "I have no idea, but it wasn't me."

Snake cocked his head then walked over to crouch in front of Alex. " 'Wasn't you'? What do you mean?"

Alex's lips twisted slightly as he frowned in thought. He missed the way both men relaxed at this. "I felt something. Like I was expecting one thing and it didn't happen. But I wasn't. Expecting anything I mean."

Snake nodded slowly. "Well, let's get you back into bed."

"I'll take him," Wolf cut in, stepping closer. He ignored the look of amusement the Scot sent him as he helped Alex to his feet.

Both men smiled when Alex yawned and swayed slightly. The teen blinked and focused on Wolf.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile." This comment, of course, caused said smile to vanish. Alex blinked again then shrugged, starting past them to go back upstairs. He glanced back at Wolf with a soft scowl since the man was closely following him.

Once upstairs, Alex was surprised when Wolf followed him into his room. He turned toward the man who just gestured at the bed.

"Get in."

"What...?"

"Just get in bed before you fall over."

Alex blinked at him then shook his head, choosing not to argue. He yelped when Wolf leaned over and started to tuck him in.

At Alex's wide-eyed stare, Wolf sighed and straightened. "Cub... You're the closest any of us will have to having a child. Cub isn't just a name. It's what you are to us."

Alex shook his head in bemusement. "The Wolf I know isn't like you."

Wolf looked at him. "Maybe you need to get to know him."

"Like I'll get the chance," he huffed. "Even if I could figure out how to get home, he hates me."

"I doubt that." He shrugged at the look Alex shot him. "We can talk later. You need to get some sleep."

Alex curled onto his side. "...Why am I telling you this stuff? Why am I talking about things?"

Wolf paused in the doorway, looking at Alex. "I don't know. Maybe there's some of the Cub I know in you." Seeing that Alex had nothing more to say, he let a small smile cross his lips. "Sleep well, Cub."

Alex smiled back. "Good night Wolf."

* * *

Barely an hour later, Alex startled awake again. And again an hour later. And yet again.

Not once was he able to remember what he had dreamt about and he was growing hesitant about sleeping. Because of this, he was up at dawn and downstairs over an hour before any of the soldiers were waking.

When they did wake, most of them assumed Fox was making breakfast considering the foods they could smell cooking. Or, they did, until stepping into the hall and seeing that all four of the men were there.

It took about a second for them to realize either Alex was cooking, something that he had never been able to do even with supervision, or someone had broken in and decided to cook. Either way, the result was the same: the men fairly flew down the stairs and into the kitchen, ready to fight if need be.

What they didn't expect was to startle Alex into hurling a kitchen knife at them.

There was a jumble of yelps and swears as they all ducked, dove, or backpedaled out of the way, tripping over one another. Their eyes were drawn to where the knife was stuck in the wall opposite the doorway.

"Holy fuck," Eagle breathed as they turned back to Alex, eyes wide.

The teen was leaning against the counter, his own eyes as shocked as theirs. Wolf was the first to catch the mostly suppressed tremors going through the small blond's frame and he stepped closer.

All four men froze when Alex flinched slightly.

"I'm sorry! I didn't– Is everyone okay?" he rushed out.

"Cub, it's okay. Our reflexes are better than you think," Eagle tried soothing, refraining from mentioning that Alex's throw had been very close to actually hitting Fox, who had moved around them to keep the food from burning, and only the man's inhuman senses had saved him from losing an eye.

"It is not okay," Alex shot back. "If that had hit in the right spot, it could have killed one of you."

"Nah, Cub, we'd've been fine." Eagle blinked at the look Alex gave him then followed the teen's gaze to the knife, the blade stuck in an inch or so. "Okay, maybe injured, but not dead. Promise."

"How do you figure? Last time I bothered to check, it didn't take that much to kill someone! And why do you get to downplay it, but when I do, I get yelled at?"

They blinked, hesitating, before Snake decided to ignore the last question, gaining a sour look for that. "Cub, don't you know that none of us are human, not really anyway?" At the blank look he received, Snake sighed softly. "I shouldn't be surprised you missed that, all things considered, but somehow, I am."

"What do you mean, 'not human'? What are you then? Aliens?"

Fox switched off the burners then turned to Alex. "Why don't you sit down so we can tell you?"

"And try not to panic," Eagle added, looking rather serious for once.

Alex studied each of them in turn before nodding slightly and easing into a chair. "Alright...?" he prompted.

"First, why don't you tell us what you know about the supernatural?" Snake asked, sitting across from Alex.

"Just the usual stuff from movies and books and junk. Why?"

"So you don't believe it's real?"

Alex huffed out a somewhat bitter laugh. "At this point, if it's something I can see or experience, I'll believe it." He looked down at the table before adding just under his breath. "Kind of have to at this point."

Fox's lips pulled down into a frown, but he let it go for now. "So if we told you that we weren't human?"

Alex shifted to give him a considering look. "I'd ask for proof."

"Did you see the blood in the fridge?"

"I was trying to ignore it."

Eagle smiled at that. "It's Fox's. He's a vampire."

Alex gave him a skeptical look. "He's standing in sunlight."

Fox sighed, rolling his eyes. "Stupid movies. Sunlight is only dangerous to young vampires. I'm old enough that I can go out, but I need to be careful since I sunburn easily."

Alex nodded slightly. "Wooden stakes?"

"It's something through the heart. It might kill me, might not. It being wood doesn't matter."

"Garlic?"

"Love it. As long as it isn't burned." Wolf grunted in agreement to that statement.

Alex blinked and cocked his head.

Fox smiled. "Garlic can have a very strong smell and it's rather pungent when not cooked properly. It bothers Wolf's nose more than mine."

"Why? Werewolf?"

It was the soldier's turns to blink. "How?"

Alex laughed. "Actually, I was being a smartass. Who thought that one up? 'Let's give a werewolf Wolf as a codename'. Isn't that a little cliché? It'd be like calling a vampire Leech or Bat."

Eagle snorted with laughter while the others looked amused.

"Anyway," Snake continued. "Fox is a vampire, Wolf is a lycanthrope, Eagle is a demon, and I'm technically human, but classified as a mage."

"Is that what you did? Magicked me?"

Snake hesitated then nodded. "Yes and no. I used magic to see how you were - I specialize in healing magic - and then I hypnotized you to put you to sleep. The hypnotism was helped by magic, but was something I could do before discovering my magic."

"Healing?"

The older blond sighed, accepting a knife from Wolf. He drew the blade across his arm and let the blood well up and drip onto the towel Eagle had tossed onto the table. Alex had tried to push up and reach across to take the knife before Snake could, but a restraining hand from Fox kept him in his seat.

Snake passed the knife back to Wolf then let his hand hover an inch or so above the gash. A pale, earthy glow suffused his hand, motes of the light drifted down to spread over the wound, and the light slowly faded. He used the towel to wipe away the blood and nodded to Fox, who moved his hand.

Alex was up and around the table quick enough to make them all blink, gently grabbing Snake's arm to look at where he had been hurt. If it wasn't for the bloodstained towel, he never would have guessed that the soldier was hurt. He let out a long breath before glaring at Snake through his bangs.

"What the fuck was that?" he demanded, somewhat surprised at his own vehemence. Apparently he was more attached to the unit than he had originally thought he was. "An explanation would have been fine. I didn't ask for a demonstration!" He shifted his glare to Eagle. "And I don't want to hear that this is why one of you being hit by that knife would have been fine so don't even try it," he hissed, dropping the mage's arm and straightening. He swept all of them with an angry scowl. "I am going outside. Please leave me alone." Without bothering to wait for a response, he stalked out, slamming the door behind him.

Wolf watched through the window as Alex stormed over to a tree and pulled himself into it, settling maybe ten feet from the ground.

Fox huffed, flopping into Alex's abandoned chair. "Well that went well," he snarked.


	7. Weary

I could not get this chapter to cooperate with me so I've split it into two, so this is short, but at least it's something. Hopefully, the story will now work with me and it won't take too long to get the next chapter up.

Voting is open for the Alex Rider Fanfic Awards at this forum: forum. fanfiction .net/forum/The_Royal_General_Bank/93073/ . It would be greatly appreciated if you would go and vote for your favorites. Thanks! =)

* * *

_Fox huffed, flopping into Alex's abandoned chair. "Well that went well," he snarked._

Snake sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Perhaps that wasn't the best way to go about things." He shrugged at the looks on his teammate's faces, all of which said '_What gave you that idea?_'. "To be honest, I had forgotten that he's still only fourteen. He certainly doesn't act it."

"No, he doesn't," Wolf grumbled, crossing his arms. "And I don't like that. I don't like what that means." He huffed. "If this is a Cub from a different world or whatever, what the hell are we doing? We know he knows us, but he's convinced I, the other me, whatever, hate him. And obviously he doesn't have that close of a relationship with any of you either." He fixed a glare on the floor by his feet.

Eagle hopped onto the counter, keeping half an eye on the tree Alex was in. "I'd say to ask him, but I don't think he'd answer." Nods were the only response he received as he glanced at the food and grimaced. "Dunno 'bout you guys, but I kind of lost my appetite."

Fox snorted. "Will wonders never cease?" he teased, though it sounded dull and his heart wasn't really in it. He twitched a couple fingers toward the fridge and caught the blood Wolf tossed him. "Unfortunately, not all of us can afford to miss regular meals," was added as he stole Snake's coffee mug, tore the top off the bag with his teeth, and dumped the blood into the coffee. He grinned at the look of disgust that Snake gave him.

"You have your own mug. Why do you always do that with mine?"

"Because you always have the same reaction and it's always funny?"

Wolf rolled his eyes. "Speaking of breakfast, Cub didn't eat. What do we do about that?"

Eagle looked at him. "You're actually asking?"

Wolf narrowed his eyes at the brunet. "I doubt that me growling at this Cub to eat is going to work."

"No, probably not," Snake agreed, looking away from his glare at Fox. "Maybe I should take him something as a peace offering?"

Eagle nodded. "Give you a chance to explain to him without us in the way."

The older blond nodded, pushing to his feet and switching places with the team's leader to dig around in the fridge. "Do you think he likes the same things our Cub does?"

The others shrugged. Fox tossed an apple to Eagle as Snake straightened.

"Not that he can really eat much of it if he's up a tree. Take him a sandwich," Wolf commented, tossing a butter knife and a loaf of bread on the counter.

"Think he still likes peanut butter, pickles, and salami?" Eagle asked, laughter in his voice. "I don't think I've seen him eat one in a while."

"Maybe he finally outgrew that?" that was Snake, turning with a jar in one hand and a canteen in the other.

"Like you 'outgrew' needing to make sure everything on your plate was separate and had to be eaten in a certain order?" Wolf retorted, eyebrow raised in amusement.

Snake shrugged, slathering peanut butter and jelly on bread before wrapping it. "By the way, that is water, right?" He nodded at the canteen.

"Yeah. I tossed it in there yesterday." Eagle sighed softly, crossing his arms. "Feels like it's been longer what with what's going on with Cub."

His teammates nodded soberly, watching Snake finish and head outside in silence.

As he approached the tree, the mage focused on Alex, seated nearly halfway up as the teen was. It certainly wasn't something the boy he had taken care of would have done. While he may have enjoyed being in the air, it was something he refused to do without one of the unit nearby.

"Cub?"

Alex looked down, brown eyes inscrutable. After a little, he sighed and started to make his way down. He stopped, settling just over the soldier's head instead of the height he had been at earlier.

"Yeah?" And didn't he sound petulant, even to himself?

Snake forced a weak smile. "You didn't eat. I brought you something." He held up the foil covered sandwich, canteen, and an apple. "Do you want me to pass them up or...?"

Alex sighed again and looked away. "I'm not hungry."

"Be that as it may Cub, you shouldn't skip eating. You've collapsed of it before," Snake responded, tone stern.

Alex's lips twisted. "...How does he put up with it? It was just lies, excuses, and now I really am sick, weak. How can he stand it?"

Snake blinked then turned and set the food by the tree. "He's always been like that. He's never had the chance to be any different," he responded, voice soft, as he looked up at the displaced spy. "I can't begin to imagine how you feel, C– Alex. But I do know that I will do what I can to help you. So will the others. If you're willing to give us the opportunity."

"It's not that easy."

"Why isn't it? What happened that you feel you can't trust us?"

"I can't trust a lot of people," Alex snapped, dropping from the tree in preparation to stalk off.

"Why?" the older blond pressed, debating catching the teen's arm to hold him back. He decided not to as it certainly wouldn't help foster any trust.

Alex spun toward the man. "Because I get it thrown in my face or they die or it turns out that I was lied to or I'm blackmailed or I'm hated just for existing! I just can't be bothered to try anymore!"

Snake's expression fell. "You can't actually believe all of that," he said, vaguely questioning. "You're too young to have given up."

Alex looked away again. "Yeah, I do believe it. I've lived it. I'm blackmailed into working as a spy. I have to lie to my friends and classmates that I've been sick, not out saving the world and nearly dying in the process. It turned out that my godfather was a double agent and is the one who killed my parents. At one point, I didn't have any choice but to go to my enemies if I wanted any actual answers about my own damn life or family. And that ended with me getting shot! And when I fist met all of you, I was forced into the same special forces training that fully grown and trained soldiers had trouble with and got treated like I was a waste of space, an inconvenience, and that if I so much as breathed in any of your directions, I'd get beaten into a pulp! So tell me again how I can't believe it, how I can't give up!" he half-yelled, getting himself worked up again. _And since none of this is real or will impact my life in any way, it doesn't matter that I've said all of that. Nothing is going to change._

"We– Our other selves hit you?"

He sighed softly. "No, not really. Shoved me around, insulted me, a couple of swings that missed on purpose, that was it. You... They were pretty gentle, all things considered. But the way they acted toward me, how you treated me, it was horrible for a scared, grieving barely fourteen kid who didn't even want to be there. You were all terrifying, so you'll have to excuse me for not trusting you."

Put like that, Snake found that he couldn't blame Alex for thinking what he did, not in the least. He wished it weren't the case though. "I can somewhat see your viewpoint, but surely you can see that we're not the same men you know. Not exactly at any rate."

"And that's part of the problem. I can't let myself get close to you because you aren't them. I can't... let myself hope just to have it taken away."

Snake moved to hug Alex but stopped himself. Considering what he had seen of the boy so far and what he had been told, the mage knew it wouldn't be well received. Not now anyway. "But, if you don't allow some sort of hope, then the life you're living is going to be somewhat empty. Think of us as different people if you prefer, but you shouldn't shut us out for however long you'll be with us."

Alex closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want to hurt anymore and that will."

Snake frowned. Talking to him was like dancing around landmines at times. "Not much of a life without some pain. You can't really appreciate the good things if there aren't any bad."

Alex snorted. "It seems like all I've been dealing with recently has been bad. If that's true, then where's the good?"

"Maybe it's right in front of you." Snake rubbed a hand over his short hair. "It's obvious that you need a break, maybe this is it."

"Or maybe this is just one huge hallucination," Alex muttered.

"Perhaps," Snake replied, shrugging. "But whose?" He smiled slightly. "Why don't you come inside and talk with us?" He held out an arm in invitation.

Alex didn't answer, staring instead at the man's arm, remembering the blood that had been on it earlier. He knew that if it wasn't for that so-called magic, Snake most likely would have bled out, the wound had been that deep and at just the right angle to cut into the tendons and large veins. And now he was acting as if it hadn't happened, as if he hadn't nearly crippled or killed himself. It was just like how they all had just about completely ignored Alex nearly hitting one of them with the knife earlier. Just what were these guys used to?

"Cub? Is something wrong?" Snake had noticed the smaller blond's fixation, but didn't think anything of it. He was used to healing and magic and having the ability to save someone from some mortal wounds so he couldn't really grasp how someone who had to rely on traditional medicine and doctors would find it difficult to accept so easily.

"I'm just so sick of people getting hurt because of me!" Alex burst out, his eyes snapping up to glare at the other blond. And there was so much more to that than just the obvious, but he couldn't bring himself to expand on it, tired from this conversation and his body telling him that something was wrong and he really didn't want to think on it, couldn't deal with it now.

"I did it to myself. You didn't make me," Snake countered. "And I really doubt that you're to blame for anyone else you think you may have gotten hurt."

The look Alex shot him was so purely Wolf that the blond soldier was taken aback somewhat. "What would you know? You weren't there. Hell, I've killed people so don't tell me I'm not to blame." He ran a hand through his own hair in agitation. "Besides, why did you do it, huh? Because of me. Because you were trying to show me something or prove a point or whatever. In the end, it was my fault. Whether you could heal it or not."

Brown eyes dropped down and to the side, but before they were fully turned away, Snake was able to see just how tired and worried and angry and, frankly, afraid this Cub was, and it broke his heart to see that in his pseudo-son. He reached out and gently tugged the teen against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around the boy as if that could protect him from every ill in the world. He wasn't thinking about how the younger might take the action, he just knew it was needed.

And Alex let him, hesitating before lifting his arms to return the hug, squeezing his eyes shut to pretend that this was real, that he deserved this. That this was where he belonged.

One could certainly wish.


	8. Interlude

Well, since what I had been writing for chapter 8 isn't cooperating with me, you get this instead. Super short, I know, but hopefully it will help me with the next chapter.

* * *

He was alone. That was really all he noticed. There were plenty of things that weren't there - light, dark, temperature, sound, he didn't even know if he was sitting or standing or what. It was like all of his senses had suddenly stopped working. It was actually rather frightening for him. He was so used to being with the others that for them not to be here, where ever here was, shook him. What if something had happened to them?

"-lex."

He paused, his growing panic halting. Who was that? It wasn't a voice he recognized.

"Plea... ve... ake..." the voice came again, fading in and out.

If he could have cocked his head, he would have. That was a woman and she sounded so sad, like she had been crying. He wondered who she was talking to and if there was anything he could do to help.

Just under the sound of her voice, which had faded to a buzzing drone that he couldn't understand anymore, he could make out a beeping sound along with an odd whooshing noise. It wasn't like anything he had ever heard before.

The nothingness he was in abruptly turned white as pain consumed him. Had he been standing, he knew he would have fallen to his knees, unable to breathe and clutching his chest at the fire centered there. It was a little odd to know where the pain should have been since he couldn't feel the rest of his body.

He had been hurt before, but never anything like this. He wished the others were here, that someone would take this pain away.

Over come by the pain and a sudden fatigue, his awareness drifted, everything fading away again.


End file.
